I Eat Paint


Blocked!
Corn Maze Details
Saturday, somewhere, some time...
Thu, Oct 21st, 2004

Lots of stuff
M&M's wedding, corn maze, and more
Tue, Oct 19th, 2004

The Color Purple
Plus, my friggin car dies
Thu, Oct 7th, 2004

Action Shots!
You know you want to...
Wed, Sep 29th, 2004

Music, Fort Nonsense, and an Insane Asylumn
A defense of blogging
Tue, Sep 28th, 2004

Yarrrrrrr!
It Be Talk Like A Pirate Day!
Sun, Sep 19th, 2004

Coffee, Music, Autographs, Coworkers
Musings and the like
Fri, Sep 17th, 2004

My weekend (and then some)
Movies, music, and the smell of summer.
Mon, Sep 13th, 2004
<< Corn Maze Details Matt is... >>
By: Matt Thu, Oct 28th, 2004
Blocked!
Websense, hottie accents, and Kim Komando

If you can read this, you don't use WebSense, the popular web-filtering software. I've apparently been blocked because they feel my site is 'entertaining'. That would give me all sorts of warm fuzzies if it wasn't for the fact that they blocked the Family Circus web site for being entertaining, too. So it's not like it's an exclusive club. Heck, a Marmaduke-themed page made it in, and that's the exact opposite of entertaining. The awesome thing is that, as far as I can tell, they rated my site based on my non-functioning iPod webcam. On the plus side, all the cool sites are banned, such as Maddox (note: VERY offensive).
I sat in briefly on a meeting with a UK-based client the other day, and the woman on the phone had a British accent, which is HOTT. I'm not talking Queen of England-style accent, but definitely British. My list of qualities I look for in a woman isn't all that demanding, but I decided that "British accent" will at least score major points.
I hear radio commercials for Kim Komando, whom I loathe. Okay, that's not fair - I'm sure she's a wonderful person but her radio ads irritate me beyond belief. There are lots of good reasons that the average commercial is only 30 seconds long; in this instance, it serves to minimize the amount of rage building in me. I can't seem to properly verbalize exactly why she infuriates me so, but I can give a list.
  1. Her theme song is She's a Lady, by Tom Jones. Depending on whether or not we're supposed to listen to the lyrics or just the title, it strikes me as a little narcissistic or blatantly obvious.
  2. "If you have a computer, then you need me." This line is the point in the commercial at which I start to get annoyed. I have a computer. And I don't need her.
  3. "I'll explain in simple terms - not that tech-talk gobbledygook that no one understands" (emphasis hers). You're exactly right, Kim. You've seen through our clever tricks. No one understands tech-talk, we just make up nonsense to make ourselves sound smart. When I go to the store and tell the person there that I need 256MB of PC-133 RAM, I'm just spouting nonsense, and he's only pretending to understand. (Because I'm using gobbledygook, you see.) I should actually say "I need one of those sticks of memory to put in my computer. You know, the green things with the black things on them."

I know that none of those are good reasons. Maybe it's just that I hear her ad while I'm driving and I'm almost always angry when I'm driving. I'm ranting and I have no good way to end this, so I'll just do it the old-fashioned way.

FIN.




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 heidi - Oct 28th, 2004 at 11:02 am 
feel better now?

 Yeah...Matt - Oct 28th, 2004 at 11:46 am 
I feel a lot better now that I have this out of my system. Now to let the healing begin...

 English AccentsLittle P - Oct 28th, 2004 at 12:16 pm 
I once met a girl who had a French parent and an English parent, so she was raised bilingual. She spoke French with an English accent. It was awesome.

 :(Mrs Fatty - Oct 28th, 2004 at 1:43 pm 
Sorry!

 Cheers Luv!ferrotype - Oct 28th, 2004 at 2:15 pm 
You know Mr. Poush, I have the accent to go along with the costume. F.Y.I. ;-)

 LookingLillibet Layne - Oct 28th, 2004 at 8:18 pm 
It's too hard to go through life with a list of qualities you absolutely have to have in someone. It doesn't happen

 stufffatty - Oct 29th, 2004 at 10:01 am 
Lillibet Layne: I believe that it is essential to have a list of qualities that are necessary to be with someone. The list shouldn't be too picky or shallow, but it should be there.

Some examples of good things to have in the list:
  • trustworthy (i.e., they won't cheat on you)
  • honest
  • similar values (especially on issues that you believe strongly in)
  • religious beliefs
  • wanting to have kids or not
  • not being an abusive or an alcoholic
  • etc.

Some examples of bad things to have in the list:
  • a certain hair color
  • a certain weight
  • a certain body type
  • a certain economic status
  • favorite sports team
  • etc.

I think maybe with your comment you were referring to things from the bad list. But it is extremely important to have standards. It's also important to think about what your standards are before you get into something as it can be much harder to notice something that won't work until much later.

Note that I'm not trying to be mean or condescending or anything, I am saying these things as a friend, in the hopes that you don't end up with some asshole who is going to treat you like crap. I actually think that you believe this too, just not in those words. Oh, and it is also OK to have a list of plusses--things that aren't necessary but are good nonetheless (like making freaking awesome lasagna, or a British accent, or whatever).

Poush: I can't say that I've heard those commercials, but that lady sure sounds annoying. I even briefly looked at her website once, and she is totally wrong about adware and spyware. She gives the same definition for both, but then refers to two different groups, one which records where you go and reports it to ad servers, and one which makes popups, hijacks the web browser search page, etc. She's too stupid to realize that she just distinguished spyware from adware. But wait, there's more: she goes on to say that spyware (even though she doesn't call it that) is unobtrusive, like it is totally OK for a program to spy on you. GRRRR. So I'm with you, even though I haven't heard the commercials. I say we contact her and tell her that she's wrong, that we don't need her, and that we can understand that talk. Maybe we can challenge her to a battle of wits. For the princess. To the death. Or maybe we could pretend to not know and talk about green things with black things on them, and ask for more megahertz in the intarweb. That could be amusing.

OK, well I should finish my break and get back to work. Have a good one.

 Blocked!Co-worker Caron - Oct 31st, 2004 at 8:30 pm 
You know, Matt, you rock. Loved the eye patch - not coloring the hair was a good move - hope Friday evening went well. ;)

 Men and KimLillibet Layne - Oct 31st, 2004 at 9:29 pm 
Men: Yeah, I know, the list is a good thing. But I guess my problem is- how you find someone who wants what you want in life? I am not worried... yet... about ending up with someone abusive. I was trying to be half sarcastic.

Kim: The only thing I think about with her is a question I asked a friend in High School: "What do you mean, 'half the guys were going commando?'"


 another one to add to the listryan - Nov 2nd, 2004 at 7:51 pm 
u gotta be mello too

 I have no subject, you insensitive clod!Ron - Nov 3rd, 2004 at 10:02 pm 
I was going to suggest trying a workaround by browsing to http://3521793199/ but I seem to get a 400 - Bad Request error. Sometimes some of these things that block based on domain name can be tricked by using the full unsigned integer value of the IP address octet. An example would be going to http://1120107653/~ronsbra/ to surf Ron's Brain. Yes, my account name is "ronsbra". I'm well aware of the hilarity therein.

 Lillibet Layne - Nov 7th, 2004 at 10:30 pm 
If that's referring to the list I think it is: Well, I am not mellow, so why expect that of someone else? (while it would be nice)



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note: All original text ©2004, Matthew E. Poush, I Eat Paint