(From Unsent)
Dear Matthew,

I like you a lot.  I realize you're in a relationship with someone right now, and I respect that.  I would like you to know that if you're ever single in the future, and you want to come visit me in California, I would be open to spending time with you and finding out how old you were when you wrote your first song.

[ - Alanis]

Dear Alanis,

I apologize for the lateness of my response; I heard your letter on the radio in 1998 but for a variety of reasons, I never got around to replying until just now.  I am single, but I'm afraid I don't live in California.  I wrote my first song in sixth grade music class because Miss Gillespie wanted us all to write simple pieces on the xylophone.

I'm sorry to hear your relationship with Dave Coulier went so badly; I never knew him well, but from what I saw of him on Full House and Out Of Control, he seemed like a rather unstable individual, and his manic nature probably got rather wearing after a while.  I'm not sure who he ended up with, but you're probably correct in your summation of his new girlfriend; few people can speak as eloquently as you.

I realize you're in a relationship with Ryan Reynolds right now, and I respect that.  I'm not looking for a relationship, but I would like you to know that if you want to come visit me in Iowa, I would be open to spending time with you as long as I don't end up the subject of a cranky man-hating song.

- Matthew