I Eat Paint: A Sermonesque rant and a CD review

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A Sermonesque rant and a CD review

Some answers to some questions
Plus, a pirate joke!
Thu, Nov 14th, 2002

The site takes a break
Plus, I break me some copyright law!
Wed, Nov 6th, 2002

Some songs for you
Because the songs say it all
Fri, Nov 1st, 2002

The Anna Nicole Show
Because someone thinks it's time we had a white trash Osbournes
Sun, Oct 20th, 2002

The Weekend
Because I have to write something.
Mon, Oct 14th, 2002

Appetizer
So as to tide you over
Fri, Oct 11th, 2002

Winterset Redux
Pictures!
Wed, Oct 2nd, 2002

Message Board
So my phone will get a rest
Mon, Sep 30th, 2002

<< Some answers to some questions	A new game >>
By: Matt	Mon, Nov 18th, 2002

A Sermonesque rant and a CD review
Because "Christian" doesn't always mean "lame"
I've been rather fed up with Christian Culture as of late. For those of you who aren't familiar with the term, it means everything that people associate (usually rightly) with Christians that has nothing to do with Christianity.

For example, we'll use one of my pet peeves: Contemporary worship music. Nowhere in the bible does it decree that we are to write worship songs with 8 lines, at least 2 of which must contain 'praise' or 'hallelujuah', and which must be repeated at minimum 3 times through, with the last line of the song repeated two or three times at the end with a reduced tempo. Yet, it is seen as a direct strike to the heart of Christianity to suggest that maybe we could do something different.

Or how about the notion that Church needs to be held on Sunday, and it needs to be in the morning? What about dress codes? How about the fact that the obviously exaggerated character of Ned Flanders still ends up being a rather accurate portrayal of a 'good' Christian? There isn't a fun-loving bone in Ned's body. Why? Because anything acceptable under Christian culture needs to be lamer than its secular counterpart, right? Why play actual Trivial Pursuit when you can play Bible Trivia? Why play Grand Theft Auto 3 when you can play Super 3D Noah's Ark*?

It's crap, and I'm sick of it. I am a Christian, and I hope no man could ever say I was anything but proud of it. I am, however, ashamed of the fact that from a merchandising standpoint, "Christianity" is seen as an acceptable handicap. Annoyed at the saccharine taste of a Christian film? Too bad. It's a Christian film, and therefore it is our duty to like it, even if it means ignoring poor production, poor writing, and poor acting.

Why are lower standards acceptable? We are charged to do all things to the highest standard possible. To follow this logic, we should be ashamed to call an inferior product "Christian".

CD Review: Biblical Grafitti Like most nerds before me, I am a 'Weird Al' Yankovic fan. He's funny, he has biting social commentary, and has an amazing musical versatility. Like most discerning nerds, I also tend to be critical of non-Al parodies. Poorly sung, poorly played, and poorly written seem to be the three characteristics of most generic parodies. With this in mind, I was highly dubious of a Christian parody band. I needn't have been. All the tracks were well done, with great care taken to incorporate original timing and phonetics, as well as to emulate the original singer's voice, resulting in a CD that actually sounds like a mix of classic and popular rock.

The clincher, though, was the fact that Al's drummer, Bermuda Schwartz, played on most of the tracks, and praised the band for their wit and technical skill.

Also, while most every song is Biblical, it's not like a collection of 15 or so short sermons. It's inherent Biblical nature makes it not the best choice for some, but if you're looking for some rather eclectic Christian humor (or just in search of something endorsed by Al), it's hard to go wrong. Seriously, though, don't just download their albums. As quality Christian parody artists, they are a true rarity. While their website has samples, and you can likely find all of their songs to download, their quality makes them worthy of the extra support provided by a CD purchase. I don't want to sound hypocritical and suggest supporting this band solely because it's a Christian band. If you enjoy their music enough to track down more than a few of their songs, they're certainly a band worthy of receiving more tangible support.

Apple
Ben
The Bleat
The Customary Cipher
Home Star Runner
Ron's Brain

Propaganda(culture) of Christianity

Markus - Unknown Date

I totally agree. I have always been put off by christian culture. I was taught in my innocent years that any music that does not glorify Christ is evil, and therefore, listening to it, liking it, and speaking anything but ill of it was seen as sinful. They told me that listening to secular music would make me miserable, filled with hate, and evil. This was, of course, a great lie.

Secular music (the good kind) is probably one of the brightest parts of my life. It comforts and inspires.

I think the reason standards are lowered is that people must be made to associate everything good in their lives with God if they are to remain faithful. I think christians, subconsciously or otherwise, want to drown out any good thing that is not centered on God because such things begin to tear apart their fragile sense of superiority.

Don't mean to sound too hostile. I just think it's all about control over people in Christian culture. Talent, logic, and art have no value. Induced artificial devotion is only held sacred.

Christian culture

Fatty - Unknown Date

One of my biggest issues with Christian culture today is how everyone gets caught up in stupid rules that have no biblical basis whatsoever. We look at the gospels and we see Jesus getting after the pharisees for being too focused on rules. We do the same thing. What really got my attention on this issue was the other day in my religion class, we were watching a video about the second Vatican council, and I saw how everyone dressed all fancy. It really disgusted me because the catholics believe that priests and bishops and cardinals and whatnot all should wear those silly robes. See, it doesn't say in the Bible what religious leaders should wear, and as far as I am concerned, God will use them no matter what they wear. Oh, and by the way, the issue is not only within the catholic church. At my church, and I'm sure that in most others, people dress nice as well. If I were to show up for church in shorts and a T-shirt, some people would have a hissy fit. And just imagine what would happen if your pastor didn't wear a suit! EEK!

So my point in all this is, we as Christians should be concerned about important stuff, not stupid little stuff that doesn't really mean anything. Focus on God, not earthly things.

CCD (Christian Creativity Deficiency)

Mike Moore - Unknown Date

To all those out there who are true believers in Christ as Lord you likely understand what I am about to write. There is a reason why things that are made to express our faith are rather bland or lame. In the Church there is real disease. I call it Christian Creativity Deficiency. It is the result of recycled Sunday School lessons, traditionalists and a general fear in the Church for novelty. Christian children are often forced to choose between creative expression and Christian expression. To change the way things have been done is to try to deviate from the way St. Peter did it...(note:heavy sarcasm) Meanwhile this rift has been further widened because one must choose between a Christian education with little time for the creative arts and a program to expand one's creative gifts at a secular university where your faculty is at best going to tolerate your religious overtones and will likely dock your grade because to them one Christian theme is the same as any other Christian theme so to them it sounds like little variety. It used to be that all the greatest artists were Christians. Bach did most of his work as basically a Worship Coordinator for several churches. But today one must make the choice between Christianity and Creativity most of the time. I would suggest to you that this need not be the case. Here are a few examples:

VeggieTales: If you have not seen this rather cute and funny Christian Childrens' Animated series, you have missed out on a lot. To believe that Christians were actually on the cutting edge of 3D computer animation is in itself amazing. On top of this is the fact that you aren't cheesed out by it. The jokes are actually funny and there are several times allusions are made that only someone older than 18 would likely get. (for instance French sounding peas taunting the protagonists that are standing at the base of a wall...sound familiar if not think Monty Python) In all there are just way too many ways that this is creative work.

Caedmon's Call: In the Company of Angels This CD is not only a great addition to the already very creative line-up offered by this band, it is in itself one of their best. The group took older hymn-like songs and instead of the typical, cheesy pop-rock updating most groups do, Caedmon's Call actually left the tune in it's original form and added their own instrumental and vocal genius to make a CD that both Hymn lovers and P&W lovers would both enjoy. Musically it is close to the finest I have yet heard.

Various: City on a Hill: Sing Alleluia This is not just Creative genius, it is something that makes me retain faith that Christian and Creative can be used in the same sentence. This CD takes several popular Christian Alternative groups, and save Jars of Clay who give a wonderful performance on the only track they contributed to, take the members of each group and use each person to their greatest talent. Many of the songs have multiple vocal parts and some of the best instrumentation that one can find. Musically, this is, quite possibly, the highest form of creativity since Bach. The song choices also include a miscellany of songs from ancient Christian hymns to newly composed pieces to a traditional call-response chorus(this style has fallen out of favor in our time).

I think that we must not let this ugly cycle continue. Christians should be at the forefront of great art, not in the back seat. Don't let your children miss out on their creative potential.

Post Moved

Matt - Unknown Date

I assume that this is where Mike originally intended to post. The problem with the comment page is fixed.

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